ultimatum

ystrday, i went SHOPPING again... spent quite a sem, i got scared of myself... i hate such times... everytime i get depressed, i buy myself stuff to make myself feel happier, which i did, but then, the sadness only comes later..with all the money gone... i realllyyy have to try to stop this slightly bad habit. fortunately, such depressing times dont come too often in a year.
But then again, of course, at least i buy stuff which i noe i need, i m NOT a compulsive shopper. so actually, to think of it, i really DID intend to buy those stuff in the holidays, so its not that bad, its like killing 2 birds with one stone. its jus scary that money jus flies like that. hehe..

ok, moving on to a different topic..
i gave my ultimatum yesterday. if he doesnt return anything AND show me that he IS capable of supporting me in future, then its off...
i LOVEEE him a lot a lot, more than i love myself, but that decision will be for his own good. of course i will suffer, but i never want to be a burden to him.. so i better leave if my presence will only add burden to his shoulders. deep deep in my heart, i hope he WILL make it...